Out Of Lesbianism

11 07 2009

One of the current issues in our time is homosexuality. So ROCK Ministry (RM) talks with Mary Loker (ML) and she shared her life as a lesbian and how Christ change her the way God intended her to be.

Her book “The Making of an Oak”, CD’s “The Way to My Heart” and tracts are available for free at ROCK Ministry. Please contact us if you want copies of it.

ROCK Ministry: Can you give us your background? What was life when you were a lesbian?

Mary Loker: I grew up in a strong Christian home. My parents were missionaries and I was a student of the Bible. I had a heart for the lost and participated in Christian events and even went to a Christian college. I did not have my first lesbian relationship until after college. I struggled many years internally with my lesbian feelings and my faith in God.
ROCK Ministry: What age where you feel that you were “different”? Did you tell your parents about it? What are their reactions?

Mary Loker: From a young age (7 or 8), I was drawn to girls – wanting to “go steady” or hold hands. I was always a “Tomboy” – even as a small child. I did not tell my parents of my draw towards girls. I eventually told them about my lesbianism after I had struggled with it for many years – when I was around age 29.
RM: Is it hard being with people knowing we’re a lesbian? Being with men what do you feel? Are accepted?

ML: I used to be very secretive (ashamed) about my life, my past (being a lesbian), but now, I am very open and have nothing to hide. I am free in my Father’s eyes and it doesn’t matter what people think about me. Being with men – I have some very amazing male friends, but I am not interested in dating any of them. I feel I have a higher calling from God to be an ambassador for His Kingdom – and I surrender to all that He has for me in this.
RM: Did you have relationships with other women? Did it lead to the point of being romantic?

ML: I had 4 romantic relationships with women. For the most part, my partners were Christians and we started as good friends – and the attractions became romantic.
RM: Did people criticize you or Christians telling that you’re wrong? What’s your reaction then?

ML: Mostly my family would confront me and tell me that I was living in sin. I was not allowed to bring my partner to some family gatherings nor bring my partner around my sibling’s children. I knew that the church was not accepting of my behavior, so I stayed away from Christian friends and believers.
RM: Some Homosexuals says that they got homosexual thoughts when they were abused when they were kids or there was no father figure to look at. In your case what lead you to homosexuality?

ML: I have questioned the origin of my homosexual longings for many years…. Intense wrestling with God! I think that some woman have had terrible experiences with abuse and have a hatred towards men which may lead them to the arms of a woman. Me – I can only say that this has been the thorn of my flesh – as Paul calls it in II Corinthians 12:7. This thorn has broken me and brought me to the feet of Jesus and now I have so much compassion for the gay and lesbian community… to be a light to them and share Jesus with them. I can say that my struggle with this thorn has been worth it to be able to understand, relate and share Jesus with the gay and lesbian community.
RM: Some lesbians I know have this drive to outwit or outsmart men. Some are very possessive in their relationship that their partner can’t exit in that relationship. What do you think drives lesbians with that behavior? Have you had that behavior too?

ML: Women who have been hurt by men or even just rebelling against God’s commands definitely have anger/rejection issues. I think much of it goes back to the curses in Genesis 3:15 and 16. Women are fighting for equality in all the wrong ways.

Anything not blessed by God is going to be damaging for a person. God set it up for sexual relations to be enjoyed in a covenanted relationship between a man and a woman. Anything outside of that – will be dysfunctional and damaging. This includes heterosexual sex outside of a covenant.
RM: Can you honestly say that you’re happy being a lesbian then like ordinary people? Homosexuals portray a normal life or another lifestyle but what really is the truth?

ML: During my years living with women, I had the appearance of normalcy – worked hard, lived a “good” life. But I did not have peace and my relationships never satisfied me. There was a lot of emotional dependency which came out as possessiveness, control and disharmony. I had the Spirit of God after me, so I was not satisfied until I surrendered to Jesus. However, a non-Christian gay or lesbian will be just as any other non-believer… living their life as best they can.
RM: What made you decide that you want to leave lesbianism? What was the turning point? Did you just get tired of it?

ML: As I approached 40 years old, I grew tired. My eyes were opened to how these relationships were not working and not satisfying me. I saw the dysfunction. God was speaking to me in so many ways. He opened my eyes to much deception in the world, the church, and the governments. I can honestly say, God was leading me to Him – step by step – through solid loving believers and mostly His Word.
RM: What are the struggles and hardships of getting out of it? Did it come overnight for you?

ML: After I left my last relationship, God pretty much isolated me from people. I was very much alone – with just the Word of God and a few male friends. I still had a few attractions to women, but God was also teaching me many things in the midst of those times.
RM: Now that you’re a Christian what is the difference between what you are back when you’re a homosexual and now?

ML: To be honest, I am not sure when I became a Christian as I tend to think that our walk with Him is a journey. I had a relationship with God throughout my life, but it wasn’t until a few years ago, that I repented and surrendered my life – and have chosen to follow HIS plan, not mine. What Christians don’t understand is this…. Many Christians struggle with homosexuality. I had a strong believer in Jesus question me about my relationships with women and he was FLOORED when I told him that I was WITH a woman while I was teaching at a Christian School – and teaching Bible.

I had a heart after God – but I was also living as a lesbian – in secret…. Living a double life. God was patient with me and led me out of the counterfeit lesbianism love to a deep relationship with Him.
RM: The controversial issue now is same sex marriage and same sex parenting. Unlike gay relationships, does lesbian relationship guarantee a monogamous relationship and sexually disease free relationship? What about those adopted ones of the lesbian couples? Are they truly happy?

ML: I was always monogamous, but this is not always the case. ANYONE engaging in promiscuous sexual relationships is susceptible to disease. If a person is not a Christian, they do the best they can with what they have. I am sure there are very “good” moms raising their children just as there are very abusive straight couples beating their children – both types of families are lost without Jesus.
RM: There are churches that are liberal to homosexuals and even ordain them to the clergy. Why didn’t you settle for them rather abandon homosexuality because they guarantee refuge for homosexuals?

ML: When I was with woman, I was always around the Christians and churches who preached against homosexuality. I did go to a few gay friendly churches, but I was never drawn there.
RM: Homosexuals says” Hey good for you, you found your own happiness” “I am happy of what I am, I don’t need to change” or “I am born this way and God made me like this. There is no need to change.”, what’s your response to these?

ML: The issue is — they need Jesus. People need Jesus no matter if they are gay, straight, a gambler, a drunk, a prisoner, a proud religious person. What Christians need to realize is this… stop addressing their sexuality and meet them as a lost person. Love them, befriend them, understand them – and when God makes a way, share Jesus with them. A key passage is Luke 7 – Jesus’ interaction with the Centurion. Jesus did not address his shameful living, but addressed his need. It is God’s kindness that leads us to repentance.
RM: Any advice to those people who wants to come out of lesbianism or homosexuality, to those souls who are struggling to get out and don’t feel they can’t change. Is there hope? Is there a thing called change and is it possible and permanent?

ML: The goal is a repentant, surrendered life to Jesus Christ and then in that process, God renews a person’s mind and a disciple is created. God leads people into righteous living. It is the same for anyone who is trapped by ANY issue.
RM: Tell me about your ministry, your materials and how can they reach you for further information?

ML: I follow the Lamb where He leads. I meet people where they are and love them. As God opens the opportunities, I share His truth. I plant and water seeds and God brings the increase. My book, testimony on CD and tracts are available to anyone who asks – for free. I love sharing what God has and is doing in my life. I can be reached at: truthseekersusa@gmail.com



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